Vipassana is the art of living. Not the art of escaping.
-S.N.Goenka
I had always planned to take the Vipassana course one day. But when? At first, I applied for the beginning of next year 2024; thinking of starting the new year with a new resolution. I had already received confirmation for 1 January to 12 January. But then, my college would be starting from that period. So, I thought "Maybe next time." I again scrolled the website and discovered another course from 14 December to 25 December. I wasn't expecting to be accepted because I filled out the form just 2 days before the course would start but was overwhelmed by the confirmation call. My first expectation from this course was just meditation but then I am glad that I gave myself a proper education in my leisure time which I would have spent otherwise scrolling the internet.
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| Inside Dhamma Hall |
Here, in this blog, I will write you my honest experience from Day 0 to Day 12.
Day 0
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| in front of Dhamma Hall |
I was already excited and a little bit worried about "what type of accommodation would be there", "Could I wake up at 4 A.M. without an alarm clock?" and so many other things. Even when I researched on the Internet, I couldn't find any pictures of rooms provided to students. There were pictures of Stupa only surrounded by trees. So, I had crazy thoughts of wild animals passing by the meditation centre. I left home at 10 A.M. and took a bus to Budhanilkantha station from New Buspark. Before leaving home, I had confirmed with management about the transportation facility from the station to the Vipassana centre where they said that they would provide transportation from there free of cost. When I reached the station, I called the driver and I along with the other three people were taken to Dharma Shringa; a meditation centre. When we reached there, volunteers were confirming the names of people who had applied online. We were told to refill a written form along with a passport-size photo and copy of citizensehip. After I filled form, I was taken to an advisor who told me to take the course seriously. After that, I was asked to deposit my valuable items. I deposited my wallet and mobile and got a card which needs to be submitted when you return. I was assigned my room and coincidently my roommate was also a CA student studying in the same college where I had enrolled for a BBS class.
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| The room provided to us |
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| Our bedroom |
In a room, there are 6 bedrooms, 2 bedrooms parted in 3 different sections with attached bathroom. While we all talked I was surprised to see that among 6 students in my room, 4 were CA students. I was even more surprised when I found out that there were other students out there in other dorms too. We were talking the whole time. The centre offered us tea at 4 P.M. At night, once again we were revised with rules and routine for our next 10 days and then we followed noble silence from 8 P.M. We were told to follow these five precepts (Sila) for the next 10 days too:
1. to abstain from killing any living being;
2. to abstain from stealing;
3. to abstain from sexual misconduct
4. to abstain from wrong speech;
5. to abstain from all intoxicants
Day 1
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| Drinking water supply |
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| Flowers in surrounding |
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| Pomelo everywhere |
We were told to focus on our breathing only. ( Vipassana allows you to describe the techniques to others, but not to teach them because it might confuse them. So I strongly encourage readers who want to mediate to join a course, where there is a properly trained guide.) At first, I thought it was easy, but every time my mind got diverted to other things, but still I tried. From 9 A.M. to 11 A.M., we were told to meditate in our own accommodation. 11 to 12 P.M. was a meal time. You could ask your questions to teachers and assistant teachers from 12 to 1 P.M. I did not have any questions. So, I just sunbathed and enjoyed the fresh air and forest scenery from there.
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| Scenery from residence |
There was again meditation time from 1 to 5 P.M. with a short 5-minute break. The teacher also questioned us in a group of four about our doubts at the time. 5 P.M. to 6 P.M. was dinner time where we were offered a light meal of bananas, oranges and "Bhuja" only. I am forever grateful for every Dana which is the sole source of funding for courses and centres around the world. While watching the sunset, I missed my mother and sister a lot. A day before, my roommate had asked if I could get homesickness and I had laughed out. But then again today, I felt like having homesickness. When the bell rang at 6 P.M., we meditated from 6 P.M. to 7 P.M. From 7 P.M. to 8:30 P.M., we heard discourse from S.N. Goenka and meditated for half an hour later. ( I think that this discourse every day always connects with your thoughts.) Then, we slept at 9 P.M. You can communicate with your teachers at this time too.
Day 2
The routine I mentioned in Day 1 was a regular routine of every student in Vipassana for 10 days. So, it would be boring for readers to repeat the same routine time and again. So, from here, I would be sharing just my personal thoughts and experiences each day.
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| Kitchen Area |
On Day 2, we were taught to focus on our breathing when we got distracted. Once you get distracted for 5 minutes or less, focus on breathing normally but if you get to know that you were distracted for more than 5 minutes, focus on breathing rapidly. This was what S.N. Goenka said in the audio. I wasn't adapting to the environment over there and it wasn't that easy for me. Day 2 passed by.
Day 3
On Day 3, we were taught to focus on the triangular area from our nose to upper lips and feel sensations in the triangular area. I did not feel the sensation for the half of the day. But then I felt it. The teacher had said that it is one of the important steps to focus on Vipassana.
Day 4
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| Dhamma Hall from outside |
Day 4 was Vipassana day- the day when we were taught Vipassana. We were guided to feel sensation from head to toe and try sitting in the same position for at least one hour known as Adhisthan. I was trying and was glad that I could sit in the same position for at least one hour until I was disturbed by loud rapid breathing from the corner of the hall. The first thought that came to my mind was "Maybe a student was practising a lesson from Day 2 where you breathe rapidly if you lose focus for more than 5 minutes." I was a little anxious by the fact that I was disturbed by her loud breathing and hoped she could stop it immediately. But it did not stop, rather it increased until she started crying due to difficulty in breathing. Upon such fearful hearing, I opened my eyes to look around and found the volunteers surrounding her trying to take her outside. Somehow, volunteers took her. I a gaze of my roommate leaving the room too. That day, I was so scared and couldn't sleep properly the whole night until the bell rang for 5th day.
Day 5
Since everybody was following noble silence, nobody talked about the 4th day's incident. I also tried to forget the incident. But then the same happened to my roommate again. I couldn't meditate in the hall after all such things and went to check on her. But there wasn't a single trace of her. Her clothes, bedsheets, everything was gone. I again tried meditating in my room but felt like I was distracted. One student from the other bedroom was in the room too meditating. She came to me and told me that my roommate had left and she too was planning to leave the other day. Every night everyone in our room had heard someone weeping at night. She told me that she was the one crying the whole night. Yeah, we broke noble silence! She told me about how she felt uncomfortable and was not adapted to the routine over there. Her roommate was following noble silence seriously. So, she had no one to talk to. She also told me that everyone talks in the corner whispering. She shifted to my roommate's bed the same day. We talked till meditation time. I was so scared and traumatized that at one point I also decided to leave. But then during discourse, S.N. Goenka again motivated me to complete the course. In the 9 P.M. question-answer session, I asked the teacher about the incidents that happened today and the day before and she told me that the first student to leave was having treatment for a long time and was sick. I had guessed that maybe Dhamma Hall didn't have enough oxygen So maybe she had had a hard time breathing. I was relieved by the fact that all were safe. When I returned to my accommodation, every student was talking. I also talked with others until we slept.
Day 6
Me and my other roommate were talking until a volunteer found out. She then reminded us of noble silence. That day, I was full of regret. In the discourse, S.N. Goenka had said to ask for forgiveness from elders if you have made mistakes and you will feel relieved. So, I told my teacher all the truth and slept. That night was, maybe the first night ever in my life that I had such a good sleep. For anyone trying to take the Vipassana course, don't try making this mistake of breaking noble silence because when I was talking and meditating, I was having a hard time meditating and focusing on my breathing.
Day 7 - Day 9
Day 7 to Day 9 were the days where I was improving on focus. Though I never was able to sit in the same position for 1 hour, I tried focusing and had some improvements. These were the best days of my life.
Day 10
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| Still under construction |
I was already notified by my teacher that we would be able to talk on Day 10 when I asked for forgiveness on Day 6. So, I was excited about this day. After meditating till 10 A.M., we left Dhamma Hall and talked. Everybody was happy and refreshed. Some were crying. We talked about our experience, and our roommates leaving. There was a book exhibition where I bought a book, "The Art of Living" by S.N. Goenka. At night, we talked about the roommate who left on Day 6. Though she was talking nicely with me, I found out that other roommates were having nightmares the whole time of her suicidal saying. I wasn't afraid at the beginning of the night. But then to add salt, we started talking about ghosts and couldn't sleep the whole night. We just slept for 1 hour that day.
Day 11
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| Compound area still under construction |
We were returning home after 10 days. A bus would take you to Jamal at two times 7 A.M. or 12 A.M. We planned to volunteer and stay till 12 A.M. After completing all the work, we visited other areas of Dharma Shringa which were still under construction. The best place was where we could hear the river flowing and were surrounded by greenery. But the sad fact is that it was still under construction. By the time this blog reaches you, hope you are taking the course and practising meditation in this place. In my view, these 10 days were the best investment in my life. I highly recommend everyone to follow this practice.
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